Giving In: The Gratitude Practice You Might Be Missing
In honor of Thanksgiving, we gather this week to give thanks. We count blessings, name what we’re grateful for, and take stock of all the good in our lives. And all of that matters. These moments of gratitude anchor us, remind us to pause and recognize the blessings that surround us.
And, here’s what’s curious: we often pour effort into thinking about how to express appreciation outward—thank you notes to acquaintances, cards for our kid’s teachers, and thoughtful gestures for people who help us once or twice. We might readily offer gratitude for those at arm’s length, and yet the people closest to us, who know the best and worst of who we are and love us anyway, are often the last people we think to thank.
What if this Thanksgiving, we turned that pattern inside out? What if we brought the same gratitude we express outwardly into the heart of our homes and closest relationships? What if we give in?
But what about giving in?
We would like to reframe “giving in.” It is not about giving up, or capitulation. It’s about bringing our best to the people closest to us. While it’s important to give back to the world, it’s equally important to give in to the people closest to us—to offer them the fullness of our presence, our appreciation, the care we offer freely elsewhere.
Giving back is external. Giving in is internal. When we are giving in, we aren’t offering gratitude for what someone has done for us, but for being in this together. For showing up beside us. For carrying more than we know. For navigating this uncertain life with us.
The Vulnerability of Proximity
Giving in can feel harder. It’s harder because it’s closer. More vulnerable. There’s nowhere to hide when you’re giving in. But the truth is, the people right here—surrounding our dinner tables and sharing our uncertainties about what comes next—they need to hear that we see them too. They need to know we’re grateful not just for what they do but for who they are.
It’s noticing your partner is struggling and asking what’s wrong. It’s telling your daughter what you admire about who she’s becoming, not just what she’s accomplished. It’s being fully present when a friend needs to talk.
When you let yourself truly feel gratitude for the people you love and being in this together, that feeling doesn’t calculate or measure. It grows, it deepens, it changes you both.
This Thanksgiving, Try This Practice
So maybe the practice this Thanksgiving isn’t just counting blessings or expressing thanks.
Maybe it’s this: Feel the gratitude for the people closest to you. The ones carrying more than you know. And let that feeling move you—to ask the question that matters, to make the time when there isn’t time, to notice when someone’s not okay and not look away.
On Thursday, when you’re gathered around the table, practice giving in. Not just to your immediate family but to everyone there—the in-laws, the difficult relatives, the ones you don’t always understand. See them. Thank them for who they are.
And then when you’re back in the rhythm of regular life, don’t let that practice end. That same proximity that makes gratitude vulnerable at your dinner table exists at your workplace too. Your colleagues are navigating their own uncertainties, carrying their own weight, and showing up beside you day after day.
Give in to the conversations you’re actually in, not the ones you wish you were having. Give in to the team member who needs to be heard. Give in to the truth that leadership isn’t just about strategy and results—it’s about seeing the people right here.
That’s giving in. And it might be the most meaningful gift you offer all season.